I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
