ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
even my farts smell like vagina
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
