you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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