I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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