in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
