New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
