ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
