I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
