nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
