I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
