is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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