Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
