this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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