if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize