recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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