im gay
i know
yea but for you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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