Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
