You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
