I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm at about main and main street
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
