he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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