How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
