I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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