My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
