I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
