Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize