i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
