Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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