no, he came in my armpit
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I AM VODKA MAN
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
