I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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