somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
