Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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