Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
