The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
