what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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