You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
