Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
