You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
