So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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