Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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