drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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