so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
organizing the empties. That sober.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
