My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
