the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
