I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize