thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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