I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
