It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize