I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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