im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
this hospital has no fireball
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
