if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
