yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You made out with two different species that night
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm like, not good at living.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
