after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
