you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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