dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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