hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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