A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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