You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
