What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
