you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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