Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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