Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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